Hoagie Day

The springtime scent of freshly cut onions wafting from the doors of the school.  This can only mean one thing!  Another Hoagie Day on the Penn View campus of Dock Mennonite Academy.

Let’s take care of something right off the bat.  Lest debate arises suggesting these sandwichy creations of decadence should hitherto be referred to as SUBS, let me remind you where you are.  Montgomery County, PA.  There are many of us walking around in this area with measurable percentages of Pennsylvania Dutch, Philadelphia Navy Yard, and Italian immigrant blood coursing through our veins.  These sandwiches are not heroes.  They are not grinders.  They are definitely not subs.  Just humor me and say it correctly…. HOAGIES.

I’ve participated in hoagie-making every year without fail since my son was in first grade.  He is going to be 30 years old this month.  If you promise not to look at me in a different way when you realize how many rings my tree has, feel free to do the math.

Dock Mennonite Academy Dad and dedicated Hoagie Day volunteer, Tom Putera

One might think after all these years of opening rolls and laying out freezing cold lunchmeats until my fingertips failed to retain feeling...I might actually be repelled by “Penn View hoagies” forever.

                                                  😵

Nope.  (Merriam Webster says "nope" is a real word but I guess that doesn’t necessarily mean I should use it).

After assembling and smelling hoagies in the hallways all morning, I can barely make it to 10:30 a.m. before taking at least several bites of the lovely torpedo which was supposed to be my lunch.  I blame my premature appetite on the crazy hour at which devoted Penn View campus people crawl out of the comfort of their beds to join the happy throng of hoagie assemblers.  

Good Morning, Ben!

There are perks beyond knowing you’ll get to enjoy the perfection of a school hoagie later in the day.  The early morning socializing with coworkers, parents, students (and friends who just keep coming back for more) is fabulous.  

The snacks for volunteers get more interesting every year, too.  In fact, I ate a piece of home-baked angel food cake this year in lieu of a donut.  Remarkable fuel for the rest of my day!

Over the years, I’ve learned to bring myself a hat.  There is a simple reason for this.  



Our dedicated group proves annually that NOBODY looks good in a hairnet.  Every volunteer wears a hat or hairnet.  Even volunteers without quantifiable hair!  

Former Elementary Principal, Dr. Penny Naugle and Grandma Dorothy Kratz
sporting their hairnets (circa 2011)

Bob Walters, secure enough in his masculinity to don the Hoagie Day hairnet.

Bob Rutt and Alissa Messina - 2013

Our students particularly "love" the hairnets.  (photo from our 2013 fundraiser)

Okay, MORGAN looks good in a hairnet.  She may be ONLY exception! 

Gone are the days of direct onion application “on the line.”  The onions are now efficiently prepared and placed inside individual packages for distribution rather than allowing them to permeate ALL of the gymnasium air with their mighty scent.  

I'm sure my daily dose of queasy students is grateful their attending nurse no longer smells like a bowl of onion dip.

This year I spent a solid hour fighting with the little gadget which is supposed to seal the hoagie bags.  It looks like a giant tape dispenser but as I soon discovered, it is an instrument of torture.  I tried various strategies.  Closing bags slowly and then closing bags with great speed.  Yet repeatedly, the adhesive portion of the closure tape became tangled in the plastic of the waiting hoagie bag, wreaking havoc on my patience and the perfect assembly-line rhythm I was trying to achieve. 

A similar catastrophe recurs when I throw myself too zealously into covering leftovers with Glad Cling Wrap...so I guess it could be me.... 

Student, Ben Longacre (the mathematical human force behind precisely packing 30 hoagies to a box) found a little too much amusement watching me struggle.











If you are one of the lucky hoagie recipients who received a few extra knots of green sticky adhesive on your bag closure, you can thank me later.  Just think of the hoagie calories you burned as you tried to free your dinner.

  

3,800 hoagies were made this year with over 3,000 additional Wawa and Landis Supermarket coupons sold.  Soups and snacks have been added to this sale along the way, providing a variety of options for those who incomprehensibly do not care for hoagies.

Current Hoagie Sale Parent Coordinators, Ben and Chris Shafer

Kaiya's smile is billboard-ready.

This annual fundraiser honors a long tradition of coming together as a school community.  Though the nurse in me wants you to know you should probably not eat hoagies every day of your life, the sentimental part of me wants to remind you there is nothing like a good school hoagie to make your taste buds sing and your heart feel pleased as punch for contributing to a perfectly wonderful cause.